Brainlick

ZYDES: - A GAME  * OR EXPERIENCE FOR ONE OR MORE PLAYERS OR VIEWERS - an abstract adding and subtracting  and meditational tool/ - Not A Talking Board. - A Modular gaming system -  All That and More.

we'll show up around midnight they'll move in ultraviolet light  infra red infra beam darkness may not be what it seems quiet flash like hallicination tuning into strange vibrations. lOOOOONG COOOOLLD HALLLLL WAYYYY LOONNNG COLLLLLD HALLLLLLLL WAY.

if you don't love me why don't you get out of my life instead of just standing there with that look, it cuts like a knife every ti-ime  you come back the room's light its switches black whyy-y-y you around me? i look inside and think, it's astoundiing she said it's over why don't she leave, finish it up so we can both greive, but the stitches they just get torn out, and it floods. the teardrops fall, the worrry and then the blood. say sweetness. please pack your bags right now.  here's the cab faire and the train will be on time. seems to be, why you with me? You're not mine.

THE BOARD's (6x6) MAIN GRID can be gridded out to letters (a-z) and numbers (1-9 & 0) the grid can also be used in indexing symbols, the symbols can be listed on a grid in a book that can had differeent page numbers allocated to information regarding what might be encountered when entering that space on the board, or if a trigger or action has activatd it in some way, summoned, or otherwise, also, WORDS can be used as well, as words are made of letters and the words can mix encrypted elements listed in letter bound elements and element bound letters. zydes: it's a way of mapping the universe. -om- 12/13/2009

COPYRIGHT OLIVER MATTSON Brainlick:  Ninety Eight Dreams or: Starting off Damned only to be left with some Loose Change leftover.  Synopsis: / Outline: A BRIEF INTRO TO Alexander  Maxim: first concussion age 3 1st overdose: age 9 age 13 broke into warner lot in Burbank, got mugshots taken, crying like hell. age 14 passed high school credits in 6 weeks. started working. atarted college at 1ge 18 and went to college full time to get my certification in business computer apps. DOWNHILL UFOs, Ghosts, and other stuff that people have seen when near me. ask me anything. ask me about what it was like in the 80's and 90's and the arcade and music scene do a walkthrough or drive about and get some one on one audio. describe the breakdowns, NO VIOLENCE the damned show. the trip to the coast Listening to all the jam bands *highlight: Loose Change & The Process, Area 707 *highlight:  The Carter *highlight Brahma Bull Music stores / Demon L

Is there Anything in here that would like to communicate with us???  Is there something you'd like us to know?   Make a sound or move something so that we know that you're here. THUD ... thump. ait appeard a if a finger had hit the dusty mirror, it was hard to tell with dimming flashlights and dying lightsticks though... G.  A.  ... M... E.... GAME... the finger or fingers were writing out a word.... then a question mark ? YES, we said... in different timings all of us  eyeballing the dusty mirror in the dark dark house. then came PAPER then PEN. then RULER we had a paper bag  we tore it up and layed it out long ways on the floor by the mirror. we found a couple of ball points and a number 2 ticonderoga which my lockblade whittled a quick point on in a jiffy.  we placed them on the floor by the mirror as well.  then the word that came next spooked the heck out of all of us. DIE. YOU want US to die?  I asked the entity that was writin

i don't think so. Do I own a Stormtrooper suit?  No Do I speak Klingon?  No.  Roddenberry was rad, great franchise, and all, but, no, no Klingon. Do I read archives of music notes, and research?  Yes.  Golly jee have starry eyes anymore for any musicians, actors, and or celebrities?  Not really, that urge to dump that kind of energy into anybody else at all without some wonderful or devious return on investment, to me seems... i dunno, meh.    Is it too late for me?  I don't know.  Have I lost the urge to dress up as  a fave character from a game or Anime.  kind of.  i miss liking things "more", than i do now.  some people say that depression and trauma can do that to people.  doop doop dooop.  i dunno, i'm starting to "enjoy", stuff, again, but it isn't the same blind and boundless faith and energy going bonko balls out forward head over heels into being a fan of anything.  It's a new way.  A valid one.  No more mad at my head.  No lettin

Speeding Tickets:  1998, on way to willits picked up hippie with binder full of sheets of acid, he said to drive mellow, but i was wanting to get to the head shop before the mofo closed.  Police Person Pulled Me over.  Hippie is panicking.  Hippie Is tripping.  Im stone cold calm.  Cucumber, Man.  Stone Cold Sober and stne cold mad.  He's freking out.  he's sweating, copy paste standard words from cop: You were ging a bit fast blah blah blah...   just give me the damn ticket before you look in the fried out eyeballs of my hitchhiker.  Yes, Officier, everything's fine, everythings groovy, we're up to no bad tonite.  ALL I WANTED WAS A NEW EFFING PIPE.  instead, i made sure that i got this sonofabitch to his safehouse before getting arrested and heading on my merry way, out the door, to the close up head shop.  joy of joys.  NOT.  the only solace i found that night was slugging back a couple forties out by low gap park and finding a couple joints of some decent brown that

one lost decade OUT SOURCE THIS AND OUTSOURCE THAT MAKES EVERYBODY ELSE BETTER AND YOU CAN'T FEED YOUR OWN BRATS. GOTTA GO TO CHINA MAN  BUY ME A LAMP GOTTA FEED OUR OWN KIDS ON DAMNED FOOD STAMPS LIVIN' ON THE SKIDS OVERSPECAILIZED A BUNCHA MY HOPES KINDA UP AND DIED BUT THEY CHANGE NOTHIN EVER NOTHIN EVER GOES THE SAME I WANNA FORTY COUNTRY CLUB I WANT TO FEEL THAT HEAT, BUT IM BROKE BROKE AS A SPOKE SO i PUT MY BABY ON THE STREET. BAKED POFUCKIN TATO IT AINT IT AINT DONE QUITE YET TO HELLL WITH THAT GONNA GO AND START SOME SHIT ON THE INTERNET (*)OUT SOURCE ME. OUT SOURCE ME. PUT ME OUT OR LEAVE ME BE.  (2 TIMES) SO I GUESS IT'S, GOOD NITE AMERICA HOW WERE YOU? DON'T YOU KNOW  YOU WERE SO GRAND? NOW YOU LOST CONTROL YOU GONE AND SOLD YOUR SOUL NOW EVERYTHING NEW AROUND US IS FROM CHINA OR JAPAN. CORPORATE GREED AND LOBBYISTS WHO CARES WHEN WE RAISE OUR FISTS THEY SAY, HEY WE PASSED THE STIMULUS THEY SAY HEY WE PASSED THE

ERIC: "YOU SHOULDN't BE TELLING ME THIS, ALEX, God Damnit, You've just not only blow n your cover, you've disgusted me, and put our freindship at what i can honestly say is an unerstatement .. in a STRANGE Spot-" ALEX: "well, shit always comes out in the wash, man... ", alex said in a somewhat bubbly and off tempo voice.  ERIC: "are you doing ok?, man, How fucked up are you...  you on pills again?" ALEX: YES, Slightly and Yes, I mean i don't know, after the first gallon or two i tend to get a little ... wierd, you know that, captain flyboy". ERIC: Stop calling me that, you asshole, you could be up in the air too, had you just go to rehab and stop this constant crap.  But of course, you can' just stand up for yourself and tell that lying cheating slut of a QUOTE Unquote WIFE of yours to leave and move into her QUOTE UNQUOTE friend of hers' house, who is actually your old band mate, because you've never made her

Tonight, I'd like to post a sincere thanks to the people who stream stuff late at nite and help to keep me company when i'm lonesome. you people kick ass.  keep the fires burning, people.

November, 16, 1998 11 years ago was a different time.  No A superbly different time. The Traditional music store hadn't been shot in the face like rock had been after 1994.  The commercial grounds were there, lines of distributionn, and what some people called "the scene", was deteriorating like an inravelling like a randomly aimed and boundless yo-yo on an overwound string. Shock Rock hadn't been worn out yet, Marylin Manson's reign was wearing down and punk's 4th wave was still at a peak point, but it was ... fascinating at least to watch it from the sidelines of $5 a ticket shows, keggers and gatherings, jam sessions -tbc-

Hey Moon, Ah, Whatcha, up there doin'? Hey Moon, Have we got trouble brewin'? And When she leaves tonight, will the ground be so bright, shine down your shining rays hey moon. i'm lookin' up at you i hope you're lookin' at me too hey moon, just make her go awayayy hey moon, shine your sof light down on me-ee hey moon when do ya think i may be free-ee but maybe i should just ask my self and not ask no one else 'cause only my eyes are the ones that see hey moon you're lookin' hey moon you're lookin' all right to me.

I ran a scenario last nite, in Zydes. It was amazing.  The amount of leveling up i had to do to obtain it was slow and rigorous. My depression kicked in like hell last week and i got bent.  Frayed.  Eight pages in, man. I ran one through, called "Baltimorium", in this scenario your play as Edgar Allen Poe's ghost, who is running through a cemetery, to deliver a rose to the grave a fallen lover, Annabelle Lee, I used a simple "track layout" style of thing...  Perhaps Use Zydes Grid For cemetery??  had lots written down here, draft got erased due to fvkcing computer lockup. Run through was successful... a tad fast though, need things inside of more stuff.  a simple run through and won. *Make Points pools acessible from player and entity not independent. *maybe not get 10 points for getting rose ...  ??? * was 10 points too much for cemetery ghost ? *did it last too long...?? should there be more happening?  if so what??? *do we make more encou

If we the People had a chance to speak our voices, we would have done things differently with the war, Health care, and that "bailout", that we supposedly said that we wanted to do.  I don't remember voting for it.  DO you remember Voting for IT?  I don't.  I may have been wasted.  I can't stand reality.  Nothing's the same anymore.  I used to be able to walk into a record store and flip through albms and buy things in my hands.  Record stores are being chopped up like campers at Crystal Lake  Our Pain, in general is not a bondless one, but specified in many ways, and also a bit more grey and vague thne spcifin in some ways.  A complex mess.  How do we fight terror correctly?  What do they rely on that we can deny them so that we can terminate them from the roots up.  Has muslim readcalism grown beyond, no, has extremeism, gone beyond just recruitment camps and a brick and mortar strategy?  I say yes, because, information is part of stucture, whether it's

SO, I guess I'll make a free version of the game and the book and the frekaijn' album and stuuff as well as a pay version right off the bat. people already stealin'  my shit

Pokemon?? Hard. Magic The Gathering?? too many cards, the way to win is to buy up a lot of specialized cards = people with more money can get better cards and have a more powerful deck against players who do not have the money to buy the decks, and cards. YU-GI-OH I can't read teh teeny tiny type, why the hell would i want to read a condensed version of war and peace when i'm trying to play a fcking gaME. Dungeons and Dragons, Advanced Dungeons and Dragons -Too Long to start a game, need other people around, too many revisions to a base system and cost becomes an issue.

1.  Where are the Afghan, Iraqi, Pakastani, etc. people fighting violence in America and helping us?  There is no balance.  We are just fighting to fight. 2.  If we legalize drugs here, and MAKE A CLAUSE that dictates that we GET OUR DRUGS LOCALLY, (Like make it so, within 20 miles of the user's home, the supply is locally and non illegally obtained.  If they smoke weed, make them grow their own, this will differentiate moneys going to gangs, traffickers, and the Taliban and Al Qeada.  3.  How many more times do i have to say this crap??? 4.  If you are in the military, and you know of someone that is an islamic person, or a muslim, or whatever, and they DON'T want to be THERE, LET THEM OUT.  Let them out, we don't need any more death.  Stop being so macho and tough and "WE GONNA WIN", that we can't let soldiers leave to live life the way they wish becasue of how much WE NEED that ONE SOLDIER (which are essentially action figures being played with by big

it helps keep me out of trouble. knowing that they all hate me is better than living the lie that i have for too far long.  No need to go out, get fucked up, and do bullshit or trip like hell anymore, though.  Reason to eat good though, reason ro do art, reason to do music, reason to read more, reason to beat off and not chase these shady hater bitches.  Reason to take the fields of regret down with the sickle of Possibility.  Look noit bad back on those days, use the strength of the pain, every drop of blood, every tear, every step taken running around doing reckless, mindless things, the memories of all thosae lost dollars, all those pissed away dollars, and all those pointless drunken nights.  Use every stitch from the torn away fibers of the healing heart.  Steel covers and locking bolts made of diamond, fasteners and clasps made from rubies cast from the hottest of black fire.  protection from the self's ignorance.  Ignorance kills.  Thank you, Brainlick, I wish I never le

Howwwwdy, Pahd-Nah, Sunday, Nov 8, 2009. Anticipation... I dunno, a tad of apprehension, BINGO.  No need to stop now tho, sadness and drama are cruddy fucker anchors that hold us back at bad ports.  Laugh, don't cry.  Cut down the fields of regret, or burn them and run, hard towards the setting sun  blast forwards like lightning on strong strong coffee. If, by any chance, you can't get laid while my wife is out of town, and you can't put your greasy fingers and greasy tongue and greasy cock all over in and on her, and you need me to help do you a favor by getting you over here and putting you on dating sites, and hooking you up with people to fuck and date and take advantage of, just like you did to us, i have a tad of an answer, for you, sir or madam or whatever the fuck you are:

Balanced Artistic Representation in ALL genres of ART, MUSIC, FILM< MULTIMEDIA, Balance for all participants and persons who wish to enjoy these things.  They are not just goods to be bought from stores, but these are things that we believe in and cherish and dream with.  These are things that give us hope and strength and help us through tough times, of many types.  Art and music and film and games keep our minds going.  Literature and the arts need to be not only cared for but a renaissance should be called for to stimulate even the most independent of artists, to call for poems from the far these away of Poets, and sounds from the hardest to get to of musicians.  The Internet is a grand tool.  We, as a human race, must learn to use this incredibly strong tool, to not only link information at the touch of a button, but turn on minds, and liberate our very being.  Taking the ink from the newspaper, and the record production from the radio stations and top 40 sausage factories requi

Well.  I reckon it's time for me to break it all down... for me anyways at least. How do we fiz this???  I don't think that it's right. I'm very upset that the girl that was gang raped might have been a rocker in Richmond.  She was only 15.  That sucks.  I don't like mean things like rape and murder and violence and stuff.  It seems stupid that people should have to force themselves on each other.  Shouldn't we all be able to get sex by ourselves??? Is the way that we've deteriorated because of money and improper drug laws, as well as socio-economics and closed up brains, plastic and mean group thinking, and mob mentality???  Gosh this seems so big to be able to fathom. Why can't we have nice things??? Money, power and rotten morals... why even say that, i mean, people are whores.  people are sluts.  the internet is a meat market.  There's porn for every single type of fetish out there.  If your fetish isn't covered, yours will be cop

AUTOBIOGRAPHIMENTARY into- boirn in 76 talk about dad, talk about M. Mechanicals Dad Being a Badass Dad Being an Art Director Dad's Partying days. talk about early education, talk about -early age reading - the importance of books and art at an early age- preschool - wanting homework firts bike CB Days ARCADES television - -parents working with TV people - Voiceover for Love Boat - Romper Room - Meeting up with celebs after Romper Room - How people treated me after that Dad Being A Storyteller - Ghost stories - Traveling tales - How he did things  -health, illness and death. Missing him. Mom- care and stories. -living in the deser for a bit - the camper - the hose mom and dad were building - the time that Grandma and Grandpa had to go jum p the battery becasue i drained it watching cartoons on the black and white tv  (easter, 1981) - Moving to Ukiah - Last Halloween with Dad - regretting not liking the Halloween costume HE made me. - Chri

gimme a new highway, i don't like the old one that i had all of these shady days run, wait for it, i'm sure it'll come, just as sure as the rising sun i do not want to be around, to be the one I used to look down, for having that hunger, and having that thirst, for turning my best days into my worst, so where is my golden sunset, and is the movie even over yet? or has the stage just been set for the baddest sequence in the whole world yet? Hey hey director, that close up i'm ready for my face is clearner and it's meaner but's nicer than it's been before. you see i was so lost i didn't even know you see i was so lost that i was so lost that i don't even know what the hell i was SO LOST for i do not want to be around, to be the one I used to look down, for having that hunger, I WILL NOT FROWN and i know i burnt bridges, i burnt towers, i've burned out forests and brought ashes to moutains i do not want to be denied, and

IT'S DRUGS... WE just had the hightest amount of AMERICAN DEATHS in AFGHANISTAN IT's FUCKING DRUG RELATED. LEGALIZE POT- Synthesize speed and heroin alternatives with it as well as get stoned. Get the money cut off, stop people going to jail here, stop people killing each other here for weed and for all the other crap that we cna synthesize with it, and get our head out of our ass. GOVERNMENT Please Hear Me. We are Dying. Please Start To open your minds.  We are ready for change.  We are tired of Prohibition. We are tired of people dying in the streets, we are tired of our troops fighting in a place where we cannot win.  The way we can truly fight terror is to remove ourselves from where we are in our positions in anti-american and anti UN areas and third world areas where we are not met with peace. Please.

CONCEPT TITLE/ IDEA: ORANGE FANG Orange fucking Fang, man.... WOW

WHY DIDN"T I GET MAD ENOUGH TO CREATE BEFORE INSTEAD OF FEELING SO WEAK??? EFFING DEPRESSION!  FUCK THAT SHI-

little serpent little serpent why must you scream and shout, . you've been living such a lie now, now it's time to get on out. so bring on once damned sunshine and dry up all this rain, i'm getting fucking sick of it and it's redundant pain.

let zero equal zero, let zero equal one let nothingness become somehting this is how the stuff gets done close your eyes, what do you see, nothings a part of reality. open them now, realize, the nothing is out here. not just behind your eys. i'm talking to you. but you're not listening and looking through you Your life it should be glistening too long down, so start lookingup right now. you've got a lot all you've gotta do is... see. everyone has told you. that they all bought and sold youy, and the feelings you get. the sadness and regret, were just put there by your own se-e-elf so why why why why does ity feel, like it's some times not really all that can be real, but it's just the way people talk . about  what is and isn't and we all know that they don't tell us everything. carpe diem, sieze the whole day. don't let one moment go. and let it slip away. these moments they can fall just like grains of sand, and if yo

let zero = 0 G. zero G.  C. F. G. H. E. F. D. I've Had Just Enough odiss Fat Fuck

 Looking for love around here. I'm not gonna win anyway. they say around here you're Not wanted you know, they never ever liked you ever anyways. SO. what do you get. when your back's up against that wall? and you know, that you're just too tired to fall, so you slow down and look straight into the black. after all the one who did it's you, and  now it's time to act. face to face with an inner demon face to face, never seen it like this bedore. face to face, the only way to get through this. only thing left is winning, show yourself you can get the high score. even if those times you think you're just playing with yourself  life's a game sometimes  don't put your dreams on the back end of that shelf. let em burn. like pages off of your fingers. let them burn, in their own waste BY Themselvs. don't sit around to watch them  cuz' i'm not not not not not not not. not not.

Why the fuck did I think that booze and getting laid had anything to do with one naother. i mean, yeah, it's okay to have a couple, and hook up w/ someone, but for fucks sake man, the way I GO... jeee whiz. i can't do that shit, i turn into a brazen cartoon psychedelic warlord crazy rat bastard who can't think becasue he's wasted from self medication and depression form having to deal with my brain and thew thoughts and the insecurities and anger and Jealousy. fuck jealousy.  i hate it, i hate it so much, i don't like it it's not nice and it makes me mean.  i don't know. i write poetry.  i'm kinda skinny.  deal with it. piss off. grrr. besides, what ladies want to see (i think) is someone who's n their head, has confidence, the ability to feel okay about themselves, and can carry themselves like they're okay with themselves and who they are, the abiolity to relax and be aware of the world and the needs of that woman in particular, tak

Rubber Johnny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3far9oHZOsI Man gets chased and ripped apart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9HqoI6gnyw Baby Laugh-a-Lot Commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYSGVvA4ojE&feature=player_profilepage half-life 2 zombie sounds reveled backwards http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhD-vd7PXY4 none http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sr5BLeA5a0&feature=player_profilepage Quality Meats: Flesh Straight Jacket by Michael Taflove http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNOPphIviXc&feature=player_profilepage Still Life - Short movie, very shocking but very clever http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La6T8Bq6CsU&feature=player_profilepage Jacob's Ladder http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttcof7TQ-Mw&feature=player_profilepage Persephone Numbers Station http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McFRonD-sjg&feature=player_profilepage "F.A.C.E." (2008:Rated NFN) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD_ZLJmxA30&feature=player_profilepage Loo

Wyoming Incident http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBHkW0aKHRc Metalosis Maligna - An Extraordinary disease http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtXMyAOop3s Mama- Short Film http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUHOY2ZmWUo The Peanut Vendor - Len Lye 1933 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQYZPwEdPoo No Through Road http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08rj_ioKNSo Dining Room or There is Nothing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns1SGo3WCF4 There Are Monsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsL_5bovozE WARNING: REAL UNCUT RAW FOOTAGE Terrifying Demon Ghost On Earth Attack A Man To Death 666 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcQdP0YxAfk Creepy Grudge Ghost Girl in the Mirror! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIGxKY5y6Mg&NR=1 YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYxDyiwH5j4 maszek - private sector http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYdryCFhJqw The Cat With Hand http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq3EsyotORM Mirrors The Movie Bathroom Scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v

that i'd be so damned turned on by old grainy 1972 footage of a gorgeus looking woman dancing with intense psychedelic enrgies pumping her karma on a stage.  Thank You, Hawkwind, not only do you provide one hell of a soundtrack, the eye candy you guys had on stage was amazing.

think about fucking just like going to the can, it's natural, everybody does it, but the toilets that have a lot of traffic tend to be a tad dirty.

Oh, how you run. How you run from the truth, how you fall and falter, your brain sparkling like scattered pieces of broken glass shining like a wave of rubies and amber as the rear end of the car drops you off on the corner and leaves you there for the next guy.

Fear.  Lots of it. Since Dad died (bawwwww i know), fear has eaten me up quite a bit.  Feelings and insecurites got played.  My kindness and naivety were trampled like small flowers in a garden, being run through by bull moose-units. I'm so fucked up, i dunno.

Once Upon A time... That's freedom right there. the intro, the in door, the opening.  ..... Battle of The bands.  Im not in a band.  I don't want to talk to them  They can play.  I'm a wreck  I get to listen.  They should put me in he fucking zoo.  Or let me just do my thing.  I'm going Pro.  Fuck this.  I get in "fights", which are basically beatings at ehses types of events.  I usually show up to them very shy and inadequate feeling, jealousy comes in pretty quick, and the pressure to drink A FUCKTON, kicks in like a the ending lyrics in a little song.  I criticize stuff too much.  The stuff I listened to in the way back kicks the crap outta the stuff nowadays.  But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not "in the know" right now.  Maybe I'm not on the same page as everybody else.  But wait.  I had to get off their trains.  I cannot be a cheerleader anymore, nor mascot, nor clown prince for them, for my own ways must BE Committed, and my AR

I lose about a half an eighth each time she goes out. When she goes out she looks like a call girl. Not really a callgirl mind you, but one of those broads you can pick up on  a streetcorner. She listens to the mainstream suff, doesn't read books, doesn't write, doesn't do shit like I do, should be easy for her to get laid.  Huge tits. Saying shit shit shit kinda quietly like mad I try to find the fucking pot.  Nope.  No dice.  Must find better stash spot.  No Dice.  Must stash it better, must lock up money.  Must do better. Do not trust her.  She said I wasn't thinking wiht the right head when I asked her back in. Whoah.

Apep, the mindless Chaos must be slain every night. Destroy It and Him, Act In the Times of despair and Create in the stressful times. Destroy Also, Osiris, Death itself, to wreck the old ways of thought and deterioration. -become-

November 15 1998 or  DECEMBER !8th 1998.  Friday.or Saturday. REDWOOD AVENUE, UKIAH CA ...

 I can feel the handrails. the spiral staircase,  keep climibing. the inside of the tower is black, only a small old fashioned flashlight holding about 2/3 chargeoozing out a certain glow of "we can make it", only a tad on the dark side. the entry door is far back and down about 2.5 to 4 stories down. this is the obelisk. this is wehre my tears fell. drip by drip. out there is where i bled. im not going out there again. temptation makes me want to, but i know what will happen. i know that i cannot trust my self. i fall into bad holes from which i am afraid that i will not be able to get out from. No longer going to those dark woods, walking through the shady zones and black crooked silly and stupid blankly assumng all on this planet is here to give love. NO. Not at all.  There is evil.  There is darkness. When the sun falls away and we see it, for the first time in 25000 years, we will see the need for the true light. We will see that it

The First run was in late 1991.  Maybe November or December, if it was in 1992 it was between January and February. the last one was in like two thousand and something. No more.  Never again. the runs consisted mainly of marijuana. Sometimes we would also be bringing stereo equipment or televisions and typewriters.  Twice we took Record players, once we took a pinball machine.  The most pot I ever took in a short run was one carload.  Filled trunk and the back end of the car up tho the top of the back seats.  The car flew.  The most we took in one long run was probably 7 - 11 cars worth.  we'd smush it down to two or three returning cars.  Big ones.  Cadillacs usually, that or station wagons.  No motorbikes.  No sidecars, no trikes.  No marks no way.  Plain.  The 7- 11 cars one was from Southern Humboldt to Reno Nevada.  We left lake county at 6pm.  Dark.  Cold. Had to double up on the clothes and take an extra backpack full of extra stuff in case i needed it.  Rain.