Brainlick

Well.  I reckon it's time for me to break it all down... for me anyways at least. How do we fiz this???  I don't think that it's right. I'm very upset that the girl that was gang raped might have been a rocker in Richmond.  She was only 15.  That sucks.  I don't like mean things like rape and murder and violence and stuff.  It seems stupid that people should have to force themselves on each other.  Shouldn't we all be able to get sex by ourselves??? Is the way that we've deteriorated because of money and improper drug laws, as well as socio-economics and closed up brains, plastic and mean group thinking, and mob mentality???  Gosh this seems so big to be able to fathom. Why can't we have nice things??? Money, power and rotten morals... why even say that, i mean, people are whores.  people are sluts.  the internet is a meat market.  There's porn for every single type of fetish out there.  If your fetish isn't covered, yours will be cop

AUTOBIOGRAPHIMENTARY into- boirn in 76 talk about dad, talk about M. Mechanicals Dad Being a Badass Dad Being an Art Director Dad's Partying days. talk about early education, talk about -early age reading - the importance of books and art at an early age- preschool - wanting homework firts bike CB Days ARCADES television - -parents working with TV people - Voiceover for Love Boat - Romper Room - Meeting up with celebs after Romper Room - How people treated me after that Dad Being A Storyteller - Ghost stories - Traveling tales - How he did things  -health, illness and death. Missing him. Mom- care and stories. -living in the deser for a bit - the camper - the hose mom and dad were building - the time that Grandma and Grandpa had to go jum p the battery becasue i drained it watching cartoons on the black and white tv  (easter, 1981) - Moving to Ukiah - Last Halloween with Dad - regretting not liking the Halloween costume HE made me. - Chri

gimme a new highway, i don't like the old one that i had all of these shady days run, wait for it, i'm sure it'll come, just as sure as the rising sun i do not want to be around, to be the one I used to look down, for having that hunger, and having that thirst, for turning my best days into my worst, so where is my golden sunset, and is the movie even over yet? or has the stage just been set for the baddest sequence in the whole world yet? Hey hey director, that close up i'm ready for my face is clearner and it's meaner but's nicer than it's been before. you see i was so lost i didn't even know you see i was so lost that i was so lost that i don't even know what the hell i was SO LOST for i do not want to be around, to be the one I used to look down, for having that hunger, I WILL NOT FROWN and i know i burnt bridges, i burnt towers, i've burned out forests and brought ashes to moutains i do not want to be denied, and

IT'S DRUGS... WE just had the hightest amount of AMERICAN DEATHS in AFGHANISTAN IT's FUCKING DRUG RELATED. LEGALIZE POT- Synthesize speed and heroin alternatives with it as well as get stoned. Get the money cut off, stop people going to jail here, stop people killing each other here for weed and for all the other crap that we cna synthesize with it, and get our head out of our ass. GOVERNMENT Please Hear Me. We are Dying. Please Start To open your minds.  We are ready for change.  We are tired of Prohibition. We are tired of people dying in the streets, we are tired of our troops fighting in a place where we cannot win.  The way we can truly fight terror is to remove ourselves from where we are in our positions in anti-american and anti UN areas and third world areas where we are not met with peace. Please.

CONCEPT TITLE/ IDEA: ORANGE FANG Orange fucking Fang, man.... WOW

WHY DIDN"T I GET MAD ENOUGH TO CREATE BEFORE INSTEAD OF FEELING SO WEAK??? EFFING DEPRESSION!  FUCK THAT SHI-

little serpent little serpent why must you scream and shout, . you've been living such a lie now, now it's time to get on out. so bring on once damned sunshine and dry up all this rain, i'm getting fucking sick of it and it's redundant pain.

let zero equal zero, let zero equal one let nothingness become somehting this is how the stuff gets done close your eyes, what do you see, nothings a part of reality. open them now, realize, the nothing is out here. not just behind your eys. i'm talking to you. but you're not listening and looking through you Your life it should be glistening too long down, so start lookingup right now. you've got a lot all you've gotta do is... see. everyone has told you. that they all bought and sold youy, and the feelings you get. the sadness and regret, were just put there by your own se-e-elf so why why why why does ity feel, like it's some times not really all that can be real, but it's just the way people talk . about  what is and isn't and we all know that they don't tell us everything. carpe diem, sieze the whole day. don't let one moment go. and let it slip away. these moments they can fall just like grains of sand, and if yo

let zero = 0 G. zero G.  C. F. G. H. E. F. D. I've Had Just Enough odiss Fat Fuck

 Looking for love around here. I'm not gonna win anyway. they say around here you're Not wanted you know, they never ever liked you ever anyways. SO. what do you get. when your back's up against that wall? and you know, that you're just too tired to fall, so you slow down and look straight into the black. after all the one who did it's you, and  now it's time to act. face to face with an inner demon face to face, never seen it like this bedore. face to face, the only way to get through this. only thing left is winning, show yourself you can get the high score. even if those times you think you're just playing with yourself  life's a game sometimes  don't put your dreams on the back end of that shelf. let em burn. like pages off of your fingers. let them burn, in their own waste BY Themselvs. don't sit around to watch them  cuz' i'm not not not not not not not. not not.

Why the fuck did I think that booze and getting laid had anything to do with one naother. i mean, yeah, it's okay to have a couple, and hook up w/ someone, but for fucks sake man, the way I GO... jeee whiz. i can't do that shit, i turn into a brazen cartoon psychedelic warlord crazy rat bastard who can't think becasue he's wasted from self medication and depression form having to deal with my brain and thew thoughts and the insecurities and anger and Jealousy. fuck jealousy.  i hate it, i hate it so much, i don't like it it's not nice and it makes me mean.  i don't know. i write poetry.  i'm kinda skinny.  deal with it. piss off. grrr. besides, what ladies want to see (i think) is someone who's n their head, has confidence, the ability to feel okay about themselves, and can carry themselves like they're okay with themselves and who they are, the abiolity to relax and be aware of the world and the needs of that woman in particular, tak

Rubber Johnny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3far9oHZOsI Man gets chased and ripped apart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9HqoI6gnyw Baby Laugh-a-Lot Commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYSGVvA4ojE&feature=player_profilepage half-life 2 zombie sounds reveled backwards http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhD-vd7PXY4 none http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sr5BLeA5a0&feature=player_profilepage Quality Meats: Flesh Straight Jacket by Michael Taflove http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNOPphIviXc&feature=player_profilepage Still Life - Short movie, very shocking but very clever http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La6T8Bq6CsU&feature=player_profilepage Jacob's Ladder http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttcof7TQ-Mw&feature=player_profilepage Persephone Numbers Station http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McFRonD-sjg&feature=player_profilepage "F.A.C.E." (2008:Rated NFN) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD_ZLJmxA30&feature=player_profilepage Loo

Wyoming Incident http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBHkW0aKHRc Metalosis Maligna - An Extraordinary disease http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtXMyAOop3s Mama- Short Film http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUHOY2ZmWUo The Peanut Vendor - Len Lye 1933 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQYZPwEdPoo No Through Road http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08rj_ioKNSo Dining Room or There is Nothing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns1SGo3WCF4 There Are Monsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsL_5bovozE WARNING: REAL UNCUT RAW FOOTAGE Terrifying Demon Ghost On Earth Attack A Man To Death 666 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcQdP0YxAfk Creepy Grudge Ghost Girl in the Mirror! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIGxKY5y6Mg&NR=1 YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYxDyiwH5j4 maszek - private sector http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYdryCFhJqw The Cat With Hand http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq3EsyotORM Mirrors The Movie Bathroom Scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v

that i'd be so damned turned on by old grainy 1972 footage of a gorgeus looking woman dancing with intense psychedelic enrgies pumping her karma on a stage.  Thank You, Hawkwind, not only do you provide one hell of a soundtrack, the eye candy you guys had on stage was amazing.

think about fucking just like going to the can, it's natural, everybody does it, but the toilets that have a lot of traffic tend to be a tad dirty.

Oh, how you run. How you run from the truth, how you fall and falter, your brain sparkling like scattered pieces of broken glass shining like a wave of rubies and amber as the rear end of the car drops you off on the corner and leaves you there for the next guy.

Fear.  Lots of it. Since Dad died (bawwwww i know), fear has eaten me up quite a bit.  Feelings and insecurites got played.  My kindness and naivety were trampled like small flowers in a garden, being run through by bull moose-units. I'm so fucked up, i dunno.

Once Upon A time... That's freedom right there. the intro, the in door, the opening.  ..... Battle of The bands.  Im not in a band.  I don't want to talk to them  They can play.  I'm a wreck  I get to listen.  They should put me in he fucking zoo.  Or let me just do my thing.  I'm going Pro.  Fuck this.  I get in "fights", which are basically beatings at ehses types of events.  I usually show up to them very shy and inadequate feeling, jealousy comes in pretty quick, and the pressure to drink A FUCKTON, kicks in like a the ending lyrics in a little song.  I criticize stuff too much.  The stuff I listened to in the way back kicks the crap outta the stuff nowadays.  But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not "in the know" right now.  Maybe I'm not on the same page as everybody else.  But wait.  I had to get off their trains.  I cannot be a cheerleader anymore, nor mascot, nor clown prince for them, for my own ways must BE Committed, and my AR

I lose about a half an eighth each time she goes out. When she goes out she looks like a call girl. Not really a callgirl mind you, but one of those broads you can pick up on  a streetcorner. She listens to the mainstream suff, doesn't read books, doesn't write, doesn't do shit like I do, should be easy for her to get laid.  Huge tits. Saying shit shit shit kinda quietly like mad I try to find the fucking pot.  Nope.  No dice.  Must find better stash spot.  No Dice.  Must stash it better, must lock up money.  Must do better. Do not trust her.  She said I wasn't thinking wiht the right head when I asked her back in. Whoah.

Apep, the mindless Chaos must be slain every night. Destroy It and Him, Act In the Times of despair and Create in the stressful times. Destroy Also, Osiris, Death itself, to wreck the old ways of thought and deterioration. -become-

November 15 1998 or  DECEMBER !8th 1998.  Friday.or Saturday. REDWOOD AVENUE, UKIAH CA ...

 I can feel the handrails. the spiral staircase,  keep climibing. the inside of the tower is black, only a small old fashioned flashlight holding about 2/3 chargeoozing out a certain glow of "we can make it", only a tad on the dark side. the entry door is far back and down about 2.5 to 4 stories down. this is the obelisk. this is wehre my tears fell. drip by drip. out there is where i bled. im not going out there again. temptation makes me want to, but i know what will happen. i know that i cannot trust my self. i fall into bad holes from which i am afraid that i will not be able to get out from. No longer going to those dark woods, walking through the shady zones and black crooked silly and stupid blankly assumng all on this planet is here to give love. NO. Not at all.  There is evil.  There is darkness. When the sun falls away and we see it, for the first time in 25000 years, we will see the need for the true light. We will see that it

The First run was in late 1991.  Maybe November or December, if it was in 1992 it was between January and February. the last one was in like two thousand and something. No more.  Never again. the runs consisted mainly of marijuana. Sometimes we would also be bringing stereo equipment or televisions and typewriters.  Twice we took Record players, once we took a pinball machine.  The most pot I ever took in a short run was one carload.  Filled trunk and the back end of the car up tho the top of the back seats.  The car flew.  The most we took in one long run was probably 7 - 11 cars worth.  we'd smush it down to two or three returning cars.  Big ones.  Cadillacs usually, that or station wagons.  No motorbikes.  No sidecars, no trikes.  No marks no way.  Plain.  The 7- 11 cars one was from Southern Humboldt to Reno Nevada.  We left lake county at 6pm.  Dark.  Cold. Had to double up on the clothes and take an extra backpack full of extra stuff in case i needed it.  Rain. 

My Name is Zilch. I am 33. I had my library card at age two and knew how to use that fucker. I passed my high school curriculum in 5 weeks. I tried to hang out with criminals, addicts, weirdos, and hell raisers. I tried to fit in with the Dungeons and Dragons set, the Japanese Animation set, and the Goths, I tried hanging out with sluts and the rich, I tried hanging out with the homeless and the metally ill. I tried hanging out with myself. I tried hanging out with gangsters and bikers, I tried hanging out with occultists.  I tried hangin out with the bookish, I tried hanging out with video gamers.  I tried. I found a voice in poetry, found hope in the words of, Laurie Anderson, The Residents, and found lost innocence and simple, yet abundant joy in a character that I hated, due to external pressure; Mickey Mouse. I found love, Lost love, and am learning to find myself. I'm not who they think I was anymore. I wish there was a place. A place that I could read

I have never fit in with you.  I adore you too much, I like you too much, I love how your kind are able to spill out all the emotions and can give no fuck of what another person thinks or says about you.  I would eat you for breakfast, lunch, or tea.  These thoughts in my head about being who I am, and doing what I do have pout me in such a spot, it's ridiculous.  I don't know about midstream women.  I apologize sincerely for paying too much attention and time looking at, gawking, and or talking too damn much to you if i did, I'm sorry.  I dislike myself.  I hate the fact that I got into a field that overspecialized me, and put myself into a box.  I wish I looked better.  I wish that I was hotter in some way shape or form to be able to hit all the necessary switches and whatnot.  I'm not a thug, and I don't look all that pretty,  i feel skinny, like a ninny, and like I fucked up beyond repair or replacement.  I DID EVERYBODY'S FUCKING HOMEWORK THO, as per thei

WHAT the fuck do we go to school for?  What the fuck for, I mena, with technology and the way that the human mind learns and with advances in technology and research techniques, it's easy to say, objectively of course, that everything that we "know", is crap, and a variable.  Look at Ardi, or Ardy, or Artie, or whatever they named the dude they found that was like 4 million years old.  The crap that they shoved in our brains should only be basic shit.  The shit that we should learn should be BASIC,. and nothing else.  Everything else should be elective, or per choice, as per the students choice.  The things that we need to learn are: Math, Science, Writng, Reading, Spelling, Understanding, Comprehension, AND SOCIAL SKILLS!!!  FOR FUCKS SAKE SOCIAL SKILLS, I mean, shit, If I actually knew how to talk to girls better and if I had a chance to go to a high school that wasn't so fucking violent and corrupt, it would be wonderful.  If I didn't have to worry abou whe

Hyperposession:  Study A-764 Delta Nobody Remembers The Dead End Tuesdays by oliver mattson The DET's were an infamous batch of hellions with a pseudo musical talent type thing. (they made loud rackets) on weekend days and partied like there was no tomorrow.  Sometimes they would run amok in Ukiah, other times in Redwood Valley and Calpella and Hopland and in the Bay area, and Lake county. some moved on. some "grow up" some don't play anymore at all. Some go nuts "Don't listen to the lyrics...  I mean, like, in your head, just let them fall around you, go through the song like a tunnel, don't let the darkness of the fuckin' lyrics hit you and creep up in your head, head down, straight through, don't let em get in, okay, man?", Alex barked at the crowd.  Assembled loosely in a living room, out onto a patio, and into the yard, the night was strangely warm.  October 29th, 1999. The crowd responded with a liberated and inebriat

Stop Terror. How: 1, If we're taking our offensive tactics and forces off the "Taliban", and pushing them onto "Al-Qaeda", then what are we even doing there, isn't the Nation's Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps. supposed ... This is starting to feel weird.  How many more years must we even be in Afghanistan when we're just kicking dust and killing our own people.   Let's start working HARD on REAL homeland secutiry and anti terror strategies.  Let's balance the economy    Let's balance creativity and work on the whole of america, from the ground up.  Start businesses, provide jobs to the educated and willing.  Care for those who are in need of it.  Balance the Arts.  Balance the flotsam and jetsam of the internet and try to find a mid ground where the fan and the artist are both satisfied.  Legalize marijuana.  The money that will stop going to heroin sales and other drug sales and trafficking will cripple Terror organizations t

the reality, it stings.  I know. im here for you.  relax.  you knew she'd do it again.  You knew it.  Yoiu cvould feel it, and now you know, deep down inside.  you need to know deep down inside that she doesn't like you anymore and you need to move on For fuck's sake. the pain of being alone is predicatble and you already wrote the path last nite in your head becasu you already saw this happening and everything else, you know that she lies to you consatanly, she needs to go to chicago and stay there and or back to the bay, it hurts you too much fo her to be so near to you and it's confusing as all hell wihtout a doubt its difficult, she's been doing this to youfor years and years and you can't quite let it go, why not?  Let the flowers grow, leave the garden be, you are no longer the same, and she has not been yours since the day you met her.  She told you she didn't think it was giong to work out and stuff, and you didn't listen, damnit. 

I sleep in living room. Woman Unit Sleep in back room. I lived a lie for years.  Lots of years. I've had my head up my ass for so fucking long its ridiculous.  30 fucking years.

Man is a beast. A beast Permitted. they should also be a beast of knowledge, they should be a woman of kindness,   human should be: a beast of self indeulgence, a beast of self worth, a beast of care, a beast of outward awareness, a beast of acceptance, a beast of respect to the past, a beast of hope to the future. a beast that accepts the worth of the now, a beast who thinks that this moment should be seized for all its worth, and does what they can with it, for the pure challenge of enjoying and using the now, as well as for future use. a beast in motion. a forward motion. -om- 10-02-2009

hell, or oblivion, or the void, i believe is a decentralized non local zone that expands and contracts just as space breathes. it believe that it, and heaven, or divinity, run through every spot of the universe through constant energy.  we move through it, it moves through us, and is variable and changing. lights shoot through air, sould move.  things are touched. We think, and our thoughts move outward and inward.  Sometimes what we want on the outside, Is really on the inside. god is within us, god is outside of us.  god is US. we are children of the absolute and variable combined.  4.1 million years, we've been around.  That blows everything that we were thinking were the right things to think right out of the water.  Maybe we are descendents of "spacepeople", maybe we just evolved or are moving through a consciousness expanding spaceship that has no walls, but is the universe, itself. -om- 10-2-09

you know your fucked when you see question marks floating out of the ashtray, not just regular question marks, but illuminted question marks.  I think it was LSD.   It kept me up and I wAS HALUCINATING like hell.  Watching lights dart in and out of forward and back space, from left to right.  Sometimes i could "hear" them coming from the back of my mind somewhere.  The front of my skull hurt like hell, in between and above my eyes.  Crazy.  Not fun.  Jumping away from things that weren't there for everybody else must have been interesting.  I believe i must have consumed it on friday at the bar in middletown. Don't know.  Stayed in me for fucking days.  Couldn't breathe good or sleep well.  My energy field was splattered and senses were fried.  I didn't choose on my will to comsume this, mind you.  It was probably put in my beer while I was dancing.  Bastards.  Oh well, at least it's a learning tool/ experience.

Plant Poppies For Peace, Slow Down Terorisnm. Plant Pot For US, just SLOW DOWN. Legalize, Localize, everybody's stoned and nobody dies. - damnit.

they kill. they let you eat your own organs and brains, and let you slip into a psychedelic nightmare. the things they do is amazing, and disasterous at the same time. Regulation.  Revelation. Moderation. Meditation. Relaxation. they're pushed by big corp rats and street dealers. they push down thraos in lungs up noses and in veins. they push like bullies on school yards and lying filthy lovers.  vying for attention and screentime, even if negative. in our self contained nielsen ratings producing brain. this has become a filthy filthy world and an even worse Nation. Our founding Fathers (yep, I said It) never meant for America this crippled, this broken, this seperated. Our drug Laws should e shredded and re-written from top to bottom.  Cops should go after big media instead of pot growers for perpetuating a violent oversexed made in China plastic Nightmare that regurjitates old and gone ways of thought.   Shapes need to change.  People feed their