Brainlick

Characters : Zilch Overdose : (zod) a 33 yr old computer research specialist in the fields of abstract paranormal activity and artistic research, former singer / lyrics for Muck Beaten, and Flake Of Icky Stuff, The Baby Sitter Tuesday Wreck  and the  holder of the world title of most accidental toilets broke,  also known as: DR. Zilch OD CeeCee (CC): Zilch's ex wife unit.  Once in wahile she fucks him She's 37.  She "plays" with the boys in Zilch's old the band and has the constant need for cock. JayJay Double Easy (JJ JJDE):  Zilch's closest ex band mate from The Baby Sitter Tuesday Wreck days, not necessarily all that rad, good drug from time to time, bu very horny and evil and dont' care aboout a fucking thing at all, including not caring about banging the hell outta his old band member's chick and totally wrecking a freindship and relationship that lasted more years. other characters Derek-  BSTW's old guitarist- f*cking CeeCe...

that little girl's a woman she's not a doll. hwo many times you gotta make this call, i'm tired of hearing your damn tears, this is the last time i do this in years. you better not sit and there and be lame stop playing round so much with those god damn games if you don't take yourself some time and start playing with her, she'll find a way to played with for sure, so stop playin round so much with those games. get out of our momma's house. that place is difficult and man you got to get out. you hear about shit on the streets and on the tv. and mother dearest thinks it's 1963. get out of your momma's house. stop pouring money down the pits. nobody cares after a certain point of shit. after about five years flat there's no reason why you didn't get a divorce by your cats. stop pourin money down them pits. Your bein' a pusheover's pushin' me. why don't you let the past go and try to be free. stop trying ...

Fucking ABI WORD IS CRASHING LIKE HELL and not letting me save my fucking work. 7 god damn pages i put into this fuck, and what does it do??? WHAT do you think. Just be fore i get a chance to SAVE my fucking WORK and the thing goes straight to fuckng zero. JUST MY LUCK GRRRRRRR.

I boiught a WIi.  Kind of worked off a bunch of it, paid money on the other end.  Keeping it.  It looks okay.  A lot of the games I want are in Japanese, though, and I will need to hack it in order to get them to run on my American Wii.   I've heard it's easy hacking the Wii system.  I imagine it will be, i imagine it will all be cakey-wakeys and glory-up zoom zoom, whooshing me into the oh gosh i gotta get more this and get more that for it.  Not ready. I have not the ENERGY right now to do such a thing.  No energy.  Shit I'm only 33 and I don't have the strength to try to put a 10 minute hack into  a system.  Gee Whiz. XBOX 1 was okay.  I did enough of them.  I guess I'm gonna have to get a hard drive for the thing (Wii), and some other crap like straps and power adapter and another controller and I DO NOT KNOW at all if I'm gonna be able to deal with the system at all, I tried to mess around with the WiFi setti...

Hide in the page. Don't see the sun. Ignore sounds. Ignore sounds. Ignore words and bad thought. shut mind in box. turn off the switches from time to time. just relax. go back to bed.

I am a freak show.  I hate all things, though, and you sir, are a liar.  You are a mean little prick.  I don't care about how many hookups you have and how much pussy you can get and all that other crap, You are mean and dumb, and the things that you and the fake ass hip hop plastic little shits who continue to run heavy on the walls of hate.  Bring down the fist.  Bring down your anger.  Slow Down Your Soul. They said that if I followed them long enough, I would fold up upon my own self.  They said that the way that they showed their light was not that of a sane person and very very dangerous.  The things I have done in the Christian eye would look bad.  For that is the reason that I subscribe not to the new ways of the Chrisitan Church, but have much respect for them and the lord that they serve.  I do care about Jesus.  He's alright.    He's all good.  It's the people that I don't like. The people that say ...

"yOU CAN DO WHATEVER you fUCKING WANT, WHY ARE YOU doing this??????".\, Charles questioned.   "Look, man, leave me alone, I have to go.  damnit.", I have aerrands to do.   I replied.  "how come You  have to go out and get fucked up all the time, dammit, man... fuck.", what;'s with all that, I mean, you used to not have to do this, now it's like... twenty fuckin' four seven and I do't know what we're gonna do with you."..  Charles spoke back with a tad of urgency in his voice, while his cell phone dropped in and out of good reception.  "Get in a different spot, man... I can't fucking hear you, where are you???",   I replied again, getting louder and louder with each word and listemning to the static go up and down as his words slid through the phonelines and dripped into my waiting ears. "WHAT IN hell, are you doing, where's my deadline, where's my Vegas, MAN???", Charles asked me in that ston...

For the longest time, I've wondered what it'd be like to assume the role of a person of power.  Not necessarily really become it.  Just make believe.  I bet I could get waya with it.  I know what I'm doing, except for REAL Stuff.  I don't know what it is to make anyone satisfied, I don't know what it's like to completely make someone happy.  I feel like I cannot mek people happy.  It seems as if the sadness likes to lie to me, and I like to lie to me.... maybe my brain doesn't like me.  I'll never go out and try to mack on chicks in the piece of shit town again.  The Doctor called me on that.  Didn't even need the call, just needed to see it all falling apart after years of shit.  I hurt bad. When I found out that Hunter shot himself, it was sometime in 08.  Some dark nd messed up brainframe day.  Hidden behind lies and becoming larger.  I had no clue.  I had no clue at all.  I was an idiot.  I've b...

"WHY, DAMNIT WHY??/??", Charles barked at me.  10:30 am he knows better than to call this earrly. i can't stand when he does this.  Oh well.  "BERLIN Is't Goin' TO TAKE YOU, O.D., you've pushed it too freaking far, and if i get phone calls at 4:30 am over here, telling em about your crazy shit.  How many more times, O... How many more times???"  I met cheales a long time ago, semester one at Mendocino College in Ukiah.  Good Times  Of course I was only 13 or so at the time, and only began to corrupt just a tad at that point.  Started smoking fuckjing cigarettes.  Sonofabitch.    Can't deal with it.  So, "we got "reasons", to ACT  THE WAY I DO, AND i GOT "REASONS", TO NOT ACT THE WAY i DO..  I have reasons for fucking everything, man".    ... I hear him breathe out slightly sighing "okay okay, why are you trippiing then, huh fucker.  You don't have aany damn reason, you need to just relax...

sugar's cheating. again. with garrett this time. and jeff. i hate this shit. she needs to move back to the bay. she hates me. i dont want to screw any chicks from around here. they scare me.

Unity Is goin' Down.... 1998- 1999 1998 was a kickass year, 'cept for some bad stuff. Even if I was broke and messed up my car like hell in like, Novem,ber of 98 it was a very very good year. I cannot for the life of me know why so much shit went on that year that happened but it did. I stopeed doing Meth on 7-7-98. I did it from October of 96 till then. Off and on. Fuck You Lucerne. I went to the most Psychedelic rock show i had ever been to in my entire life. San Francisco: Febreuary 28 8:12 pm I pull into town looking for Maritime Hall. The Damned are playing tonight. With Dave on vocals, good stong lineup, smart hooks, good riffs, and from what I had been hearing about their current state, they'd be able to hit me as hart as they were hitting in 76. Awesome. I'm so pumped I'm not reading signs for roads at all, I missed 4 blocks of signs... Lost. I asked some hell of nice people where the fuck Maritime Hall was. Found it. ...

concept: "DON'T KURT YOURSELF" - NEW ANTI SUICIDE CAMPAIGN TARGETING INDEPENDENT THINKERS / CREATIVE ENTITIES, MUSICIANS, PERFORMERS, WRITERS AND STUFF.

I beelive that my art and music and writing would have had a better chance 20 years ago. I don't know why.... Maybe, maybe not, but without all that has happened and all that i've learned and need to use...  maybe if i...  NO, IT ISN"T me this time. we were better off financially back then and therefore we had a more balanced spectrum n regards to artistic and social aspects and applications. the deficit wasn't 9 trillion dollars.  we had things made in America.  I liked working.  It's pointless now.  I  don't want to goto school, nor am i brave enough to do so.  Trust me, it's better this way. Socio economics and old rules are killing us.  If the deficit wasn't so large and we didn't let the governemrnt sell our assets and materials necessities to China to pay back our own freaking debt from buying their crap, with our deteriorating dollar,  that we don't know how to spend, 'cause we're all corn-fed  goons now.  Z...

Regarding going back to a trashed old house of yours from when you were younger: Hey.  I'd say you're playing with fire because the way my brain acted up after i looked for an old mobile me and Mom and Dad lived and then he passed away, it was all changed or someone put in another mobile there, but it just wasn't the same. The layout of the driveways and driveways were different, the little field where there was a tree and a place to play football, and run around was paved over completely.  There were places taken out, places put in and lots and lots of immigrants.  It used to be nice.  I used to have such happy times there, and it ... it was so surreal and upsetting.  I was blotto and totally emo for like 2 or three weeks. Be careful.  Please.

People shouldn't be judged or tortured for their beliefs. People should be allowed to be them selves.   People love and hate Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ was cool because he cared about people. People who kill peple that they think are bad because the Church or the main mindframes of dead principle and isolation, of hate and fear, told them to do so make me upset. let's walk softly here, shall we. To draw a line of  judgement upon another person is not right. But then again judgement or at least ... internal protection sometimes happens. Sometimes I Judge people myself.  We are taught to behave and act in certain mannerisms in such a systematically precise way, and it slides right on into our heads and eyes through our institutions, Learning systems and methods, and commercial media.  The lines of "Church", and State began blurring, I believe either in the Early 20th century, (pre WW1??) or the 13th or 14th century.   (Magna Carta, t...

ud. I'm not right. I'm not sure how long it's been snce i actually probably was. i don't know who's thoughts i had in my head for so long now, it's weird. its strange ... ... i'm fine, im writing.   a vacation in my own skull, the sweet sounds  of words splashing on the shore of the beach, with a bevvy of beautiful sentences surrounding me.  i'm free here, on these pages.  my body disappears.  worrying about how i look to others slides away in the night like a fast dealer.  my body's living breathing skin doesn't pick on me, less pain on the page.  less pain. can't keep going the way i was.  Need a different game. No need to get up like the rest do.  Tried it, Failed.  What's next.  run on the ink.  Instead of the streets.  Break words per minute speed limit instead of miles per hour and booze and drug intake by minute.  Slow down, man.  Death makes people straight up STOP.  SL...

Metal and punk were coming out at the same time in America and Britain.  Birmingham:  Where Sabbath was From = Steel Work Detroit, Michigan= Where cars USED to come from First truly considered band to be heavy metal in Europe: Black Sabbath / Earth 1st punk and metal bands in the states: MC5 and the Stooges MC5 + Stooges October 30/31 Grande Ballroom 1968. First Punk. (kick out the jams - mc5 + real cool time - stooges) First (USA) Metal (in my own opinion)- Starship  - mc5 btw: evil woman was recorded 1st by "Crow", in 67. all of this shit stemmed from heavy atmospheres and tensions due to the worker environment in the UK, and the uprisings and political torment and assassinations of 68 here in the states.  Not to mention that the UK was a hotbed of Mod Vs. Rocker violence, as highlighted in such films as The Who's Quadrophenia.  Lines become drawn and friendships deteriorated, blah blah blah read something. yep, metal and punk were gelling befor...

sCum1 s41d th3y w3r3tooh0t4m3 t0 tuch

THIS IS NOT A TEXT BOOK, IT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED FICTION, CUZ I DON'T KNOW NOTHING, NOR AM I EVEN CLEAR. Happy 999 everybody. John, and George,  I hope you're out there, across the Universe, having one hell of a time, or here, enjoying the light shining on all the beautiful music that You guys made. You brought the world something that we all needed, but weren't expecting. Something that not only blew our minds, but opened our hearts and eyes. Patching up the pages from black and white to a mesmerizing psychedelic rainbow, from violent brawling beer guzzling and pill popping days in the underground, to shining sharply on Sullivan, and taking us to the never ending Strawberry Fields, and a ride on a fantastic Submarine. We wrapped our visit on a rooftop. On the edge of what would become the decade of disco and punk. Right on the curve of what would become the main strain seeds of what would become punk and metal in 68. They brought the green fire into the hea...

How Come Micheal Jackson go sooo much attention and Ron Asheton didn't get a damn thing as far as coverage goes in regards to his passing??? Big Media, and Big Money. The feeds that we get rammed down our throats on a nanosecond to nanosecond basis are not the things that we need. The minds that we have to deal with are not those of that which we need. We can not continue to do this to ourselves. We are dying. We are not doing that good. We are fractured, we are damaged, we are not the same. We are the ones who can cut through the glass but don't even know our own names. Why are the things that bring us light, bring us quickly down just as fast. And with foul forces we threaten divorces, from love, and from life, what a blast. today should be identified in these notes as a strange dog. a strange one indeed. quietly it turns to a shadow, not letting me catch up to it... keeping at it's 6 o clock i chased its path for a good 4 to 6 minutes, huffing and puffing, hands...

STOP BUYING OPIUM FROM OTHER COUNTRIES. GROW OUR OWN STUFF FOR OUR OWN DRUGS. NOT MEXICO, NOT AFGHANISTAN, NOT ANYWHERE ELSE BUT HERE. Have the other countries make their own drugs too, that way,they will be forced to at least self contain the economics of their OWN addictions in their own border without external influence. Yes, it will hurt many entities, but I believe that Afghanistan, Iraq, Mexico, the places with the good coke, and maybe even America can truly benefit. We are a strong thing, us human beings, we are very strong. We Can survive. 3 steps: REALIZE - The world likes getting High/ We Have a Drug Issue LEGALIZE - Stop Taxpayer Money Going Down the Tubes, put more dangerous priorities in the hands of Police and stop non violent people from going to jail. LOCALIZE - Trafficking = Terrorism / Crime... duh. Grow our own Opium = No need to get it from other countries. Make our own cocaine = same thing. Legalize weed = It'll be like a firey uppercut from Street Fighter...

people say that I "DO TOO MANY DRUGS", and consume too much of everything that i consume. Even Sin. Failed dreams, holding on the black shadows of night and not letting them run away like the dawn breaking on the horizon... to incur shadows walking towards me, is that all this life is for??? is it all that I can BE?? AM I doing all I can for myself, my life and dare I say t, my country. Feh . I don't know if I should care if I did enough for my country of my community. I think I did a lot, and I think I can take a break now. I cannot flip Burgers. Hips and back and paranoid schizo hallucinations and pain induced rage aren't really things you want in a fast food establishment. DON'T YOU DARE put me in retail. I CANNOT DO THAT ANYMORE. The last time I tried working in retail I just about wounded some people and did far too much damage to myself to mention. Treated self and others like garbage , let my morals slip down and fall apart. Became a fiend for...

on religion: religion is good and religion is bad. religion can let one feel good. religion can let one feel bad. religion can outwardly and inwardly criticize the reader of its texts. religion can with no knowledge of doing so, drive someone to suicide, if wrongly interpreting the texts upon which it is based, or upon and within IT IS referenced. we shall overcome. we shall be free. we shall look upon these books and upon these words and upon the blood that has been spilled and the people who hat spilt it, and point OUR fingers of judgement, for we are ALIVE and we ARE ALSO DIVINE and we are what we can be and in both good and bad modes we must realize that it is our choice, not he choices of puppet masters running us about in control of our strings, and that even if we have the strength to turn off the TV, or at least change the channel from something that is bothering us, in our hearts and minds.... that not only are WE thinking, and GOOD and OK... but we have a RIGHT, in every c...

Colorado State won.

brainlick: PROUDLY Bringing You Random A$$ $#!T SINCE 1993

In between Cheryl's going out looking like a completely trashy piece of easy ass and spending the night "out w/ friends", (my ass), Mom's Gambling problem, bad driving and fiscal irresponsibility, and my depression and addictions, this ain't real fun right now. Good thing I can pump my energy into the keyboard and not into destructive mode right now. thinking = sorta good sometimes. I wish mom would just get home and rest, contact some people about houses and try to find things that she wants to take to storage. The house is filling up like a liver of a duck. If I didn't have you, Oh, Words, sweet words, I'd be dead now for sure. Football is On. College Ball. I like how fast they go, in college football, for some reason it feels like it moves faster... or is it just me? Probably me, i feel like so much is moving much much faster. All I can do is trust on the inside, that's all I can deal with right now/ the only choice have left. No one e...

0: show me something. air: it shall be a house. of sorts. 0: what do you mean, a house, of sorts? what house, where is the house??? air: you'll find it. maybe even build it. 0: what do you mean? Where will I build? I have no money, no land, no parcel and no plans. What house do you speak of? air: no walls to hold you, as many floors a6 six, and walls just the same, a square upon a square upon a square itself. it can be here or there, any size at all. 0: I TOLD YOU, I have no floor plan, nor architect, what do you speak? What size is it, am I in it and do not know??? Your walls are not those that I can see, your voice comes from a body that is not like MINE, I only think that you may be in my head or that you are but a fever dream or a terrible nightmare occuring to me now. As i spin and turn my head from every angle your voice comes to me from every bit of space. I Should not have dabbled. I should Repent. air: wait. you did nothing wrong. only what you thought was right...

the forward burn of the kitestring weighs at least 10 times as heavy and fast as i thought it would. from the grey sky with lightning flashes in background clouds the black and white checkerboard kite clipped up into the air with quick and out ward zoom. shot at least 20 feet up and into the sky in a few seconds. string zipping out and up up up.... tringle shape blasting into the early evening. it swayed. for a few seconds... right in about the same spot it seemed. left and right edges batting up and down a little bit, like hands waving down hello to me from way up there. then all of a sudden it back and forthed for a bit at about the same height. then i don't know if this was me, or somethings else.... but it started to nosedive.... you know, the down shot fast like you already know that its gonna crash nosedive... yeah, that one. all of a sudden i felt like i needed to pre-brace myself for it the THWACK the ground in the school yard. No dice, insead, either i was hallucinating...

stuff to think about today/ notes n such. i dunno, maybe take a nap.... I am kinda mad about the ELF, or Earth Liberation Front knocking down radio towers in Washinton State. The say that they are a terrorist group who make dents in companies and enities that don't support and harm the Earth. They claim that they have done over 150 million dollars in damage. I have a challenge for them (like they'll hear me, or like i'll even remember or care). Set up "Guerrilla Galleries", randomly put up small areas where art can be sold and money can be made, and thought can be communicated. For Every Tower you tear down, you should give books to people. You should pay off people's Library Cards. Clean up Your minds, you are not playing with energy correctly and you are are making listeners upset and not letting the floodwaters of information move through space. If you say that you truly care about the Earth, care about rebuilding the People On it, so that we can ...

when a person feels like they know that things are different, and they know that things have changed.... and they may feel like ... not the same. is that when you delcare it being different and accept change and continue? or go back to what they thought was real, but may not be real at all.?

Drugs. Make them legal. the way things go currently is a broken road. how do i know? I walk it. I am a junkie, wastoid. call me what you will. I am economically challenged and living in a socio-economically landlocked deadzone. we have had our destinies pre programmed by our disposable lifestyles. Why pay a guy 50 bux an hour to fix a pc when you can get one used for a little bit more. why keep someone on staff when you can replace them with a machine that you don't have to pay for anything but the code that's replacing them. why can't we have speakeasies where i can go in and roll a joint and discuss art work over a non alchoholic ale, or an iced tea? Why is it that every day when i watch a sporting event that i have to deal with 16 beer commercials and no commercials that say "just relax", or "You're Okay", or "Smoke A Joint", how come we can't have the world the way that t should be??? Do the corporations and Lobbyists and Policy ma...

side notes/ addendum; kurt cobain made blonde rockers look like shit. just say no to little green pills.

welcome to the effing jungle. mom blew car money on casino stressed me out like a motherfucker. Should have stayed in calpella last night, and just shot pool there instead of the "tour". went from water trough north in search of an immaculate high. went too far. 5 mintue late client RE: network was late, headache made me pass out at forest club. mom's phone hell of died like stupid. my phone, which may or not be real, is not blue, nor is it here. sry for any bullshit. small white d0gs ran amok in safeway parking lot, while headless, i chased them about for a few minutes. could have been ghosts. fake million dollar bill with a dragon on it in pocket. ten real dollars more in pocket then calculated before the weirdness kicked into full throttle. still have pipe. no blood lost. still have some weed. waiting for budweiser. can't find brass bowl for bong. damnit.

when the dreams in life and life as a who;e, good and bad, happy and side, birht to death isn't looked at as a whole, and worked through and processed and upgraded and used correctly, and one lives life just "REACTING", from moment to moment , that is when life isn't truly happening at all, that's when stumbling blocks in the road and little cracks in the pavement of life become larger and larger harder to just walk off, and soon, not only do people see the other person slip and trip a bit, but when the tripping and slipping turns into falling and falling and not being able to even see the pavement because its wayy up in the sky, or what appear to be the sky because the hole is swalling the person who was, a bit ago, in their eyes, stumbling a bit on a bumpy road, falling into an abyss of their own making and not even able to know it at all. That's not living. That's just reacting and shutting up people and acting and actioning and not behaving or really...