9-1-09 354pm

when the dreams in life and life as a who;e, good and bad, happy and side, birht to death isn't looked at as a whole, and worked through and processed and upgraded and used correctly, and one lives life just "REACTING", from moment to moment , that is when life isn't truly happening at all, that's when stumbling blocks in the road and little cracks in the pavement of life become larger and larger harder to just walk off, and soon, not only do people see the other person slip and trip a bit, but when the tripping and slipping turns into falling and falling and not being able to even see the pavement because its wayy up in the sky, or what appear to be the sky because the hole is swalling the person who was, a bit ago, in their eyes, stumbling a bit on a bumpy road, falling into an abyss of their own making and not even able to know it at all.

That's not living. That's just reacting and shutting up people and acting and actioning and not behaving or really living.

find a place you feel good, and put roots down. calm the inner self. screw the one you're with. Note to self: Don't go to bars where they call you gay for ANYTHING, especially to pick up women when the women call you GAY.