Bye Troy / Doctor T,

 Bye TROY.  F***!, Man.  

RIP, DR T. from The Process.

The first time I wrote about the Process was back in 1993.  I was 17 years old, it was summer, I had a Newsletter that focused on Commodore 64 games and High Scores in local tournaments.  I had deep focus on Anime, Gaming, and computing, basically.  

It was only a one or two page affair that had a small listing of music stuff.

I was reached late one night in Summer of 1993 by a guy named Troy, who said I should expand the newsletter  (The Nocturnal Voice) into a "Fanzine", type thing, and instead of having 2 pages with just Dot Matrix Text, that I should include clip art, make it ten to twenty pages long in half size format like small indie 'zines.  

Not only that, but to balance out the attention to games and cartoons to music as well, and give un-biased reviews of the tunes, instead of recommendations, not becase the bands  were local, or were hot.

He told me one time...  "it don't matter if its punk, metal, gospel, or rap, you need to speak YOUR piece...  NOT THEIRS".  and, put in some of that weird poetry of yours.  it's good", he said.

That is when "The Nocturnal Voice" , my 2 page  newsletter, became "Brainlick", a ten or 20 page little fanzine that tried.

November 1994 to 95 I think I put out a bunch of copies to any store that would let me in Lake and Mendocino Counties.

Troy and I would talk for hours on the telephone about a show or a party I shold have went to on the college job search lines....  ( i didn't have a home phone at times)...  Not an easy time.

Around Halloween, 1994., Troy said I should go party in Ukiah in November.  I was excited as hell.

I met up with Troy and Bodhi and Naida, we went to a place that had been covered wall to wall with beer boxes and enough flyers and hung skateboards to sink a ship.

That was IT.  I sold My soul for rock and roll that night.  

I fell down flights of stairs, twice or more.    I think others did as well.

Not  too clear.

Here's more of the main stuff.  ...  we ould hang out at all odd hours of the night, when I was working in Ukiah on computer work, and going back and forth to Lake County.

..  Over the years our bonds fell away, but I always cared about hm, I din't know how he was, etc.

Bodhi and I have been close bros since we met off and on 28 years ..  ...  29 years ago, and I thank all the Gods above for giving me the chance to have all these friends, who are now my family...  in my life.  

If it wasn't for Troy I wouldn't have gone to my first Process show, July 4, 1995, too, and all the parties and shows, all the friends I met because of him.  I'm blessed, I was blessed and I'm heartbroken.

Bodhi was the last person to have seen my Mom before she passed.

No matter how many toys you have, no matter ho much stuff, now matter how many people you have fun wth, it doesn't matter if you can't treat family right sometimes.  

You need to know your areas.  know your limitations and feel where you need to be.  Look a the possible pain, inward OR OUTWARD, that may occur when being around this other person or persons.  

My Mom died frm a stroke on Feb. 1st , due to a stroke because of stress .  I'm blaming me for yelling at her about my wife and my sexual prefences before meeting my wife on that fateful day, December 22 2022.  

wort day evr.