never grow up, never say die!
she said you'll be 43 next month, more hot wheels for me, i said.
the illusion of growing up is imposed into you as a guilt simplex by the system, so that you feel bad about aging, and less good about you. I don't care about what religion you are involved in. I believe that we need to understand that we are born, we are young, we are than a little older after a while. Adulthood is a kind of "hologram", i think, so that government and business can organize us more easily. I don't think i'm mature. I know I am confused and need help a lot. I think I'm childlike. I look at mornings as a time of possibility and change. I look at chances of fun every time I can. I love women, and video games, and toys and food and books, and cartoons and comics and hot wheels and pinball and basically, all the same stuff I liked when I was younger, except I can drink legally now and have sex, buy porn and bongs and papers and smoke weed and go to hookah bars, and strip clubs and raves and bar - arcades, and write dirty poetry and go to Reno and Vegas and Lake Tahoe and Sparks Nevada, and sip on free beer while playing slot machines delivered by long stocking covered leg bearing bunny girl waitresses wearing the pressed white shirts and bow ties, always smiling. I want to go to the bars where my idols went to, when I can, when it's right for me to do.
I want to wake up with the necessity of not just bills, but also of games and toys and fun, and lust and desire and learning and trying and doing and making. I want to go to bed with the satisfaction of responsibility, of work being done, of bills being paid, of roof over head, of food available to eat, of clothes on back and family safe and okay. Then, and only then can I give myself the right to have fun. after homework is done can one play with one's toys or video games or go play with friends. That is something we've been taught since "childhood". We need schedule. That is why we went to school from the morning into the afternoon. Monday Through Friday. That is why we had homework to take home with us. Just as we have to, from time to time, take our work, "home", with us.
If we give each other the chance to live. not be fooled into feeling guilt about "getting too old", to do some things or enjoy some things. OKAY- Citation *! Sometimes we are too young for some things, and we are too old for some things. * PERIOD. Sorry. not trying to burst bubbles, but, yes. SO. DO STUFF at the "Right Time", okay, ... when it is LEGAL for you to do so. LEGAL. Got it?
wait.... am i breaking apart the first point?
all i am trying to say in this rant, is that, no one can live forever, yet, but there isn't any reason for you to not have a little more fun (*responsibly*), on a day to day basis, and stop worrying so much. Life's too short. Go play.
Oliver Clinton Trinidad Espinoza Mattson;
June Sixteenth, Two Thousand Nineteen
the illusion of growing up is imposed into you as a guilt simplex by the system, so that you feel bad about aging, and less good about you. I don't care about what religion you are involved in. I believe that we need to understand that we are born, we are young, we are than a little older after a while. Adulthood is a kind of "hologram", i think, so that government and business can organize us more easily. I don't think i'm mature. I know I am confused and need help a lot. I think I'm childlike. I look at mornings as a time of possibility and change. I look at chances of fun every time I can. I love women, and video games, and toys and food and books, and cartoons and comics and hot wheels and pinball and basically, all the same stuff I liked when I was younger, except I can drink legally now and have sex, buy porn and bongs and papers and smoke weed and go to hookah bars, and strip clubs and raves and bar - arcades, and write dirty poetry and go to Reno and Vegas and Lake Tahoe and Sparks Nevada, and sip on free beer while playing slot machines delivered by long stocking covered leg bearing bunny girl waitresses wearing the pressed white shirts and bow ties, always smiling. I want to go to the bars where my idols went to, when I can, when it's right for me to do.
I want to wake up with the necessity of not just bills, but also of games and toys and fun, and lust and desire and learning and trying and doing and making. I want to go to bed with the satisfaction of responsibility, of work being done, of bills being paid, of roof over head, of food available to eat, of clothes on back and family safe and okay. Then, and only then can I give myself the right to have fun. after homework is done can one play with one's toys or video games or go play with friends. That is something we've been taught since "childhood". We need schedule. That is why we went to school from the morning into the afternoon. Monday Through Friday. That is why we had homework to take home with us. Just as we have to, from time to time, take our work, "home", with us.
If we give each other the chance to live. not be fooled into feeling guilt about "getting too old", to do some things or enjoy some things. OKAY- Citation *! Sometimes we are too young for some things, and we are too old for some things. * PERIOD. Sorry. not trying to burst bubbles, but, yes. SO. DO STUFF at the "Right Time", okay, ... when it is LEGAL for you to do so. LEGAL. Got it?
wait.... am i breaking apart the first point?
all i am trying to say in this rant, is that, no one can live forever, yet, but there isn't any reason for you to not have a little more fun (*responsibly*), on a day to day basis, and stop worrying so much. Life's too short. Go play.
Oliver Clinton Trinidad Espinoza Mattson;
June Sixteenth, Two Thousand Nineteen
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