off and on 6 15 15

OFF = before you were born
ON = The Time You're Here
OFF = Death and after

do stuff today

also

yesterday = not now
today and now = you're in it.
tommorow = uncertain

we can cry and bitch and moan and scream about the pain of the past, as much as we want to, but --- one thing i realized, after losing all my posessions damn near, my girl, and my ability to drive.... --- as well as some of my "brains", as they call them... --- if i had just got the fuck up in the morning, had a bath, made breakfast, coffee, etc. - and got the fuck back in bed with c. none of this shit would have happened. also- if your cousin is a bitch, and her BF is a prick, don't let them move into your home and fuck up your shit hardcore. happy b day grandma, your family is not cool.

yesterday, we can hold much pain and cry from you, but we can also learn from you and try to walk, if not strong, if not tall, just walking, moving, and living, the thing of the self is that the self can cry, and fight, and scream, and break things, if mad about their spouse's adultery, or a friends passing, or loss due to robbery or bad decisions, but, the self can also, - in time, learn to dismiss the anger that creates not good moments, and creates bad feelings. feelings that can cause one to be self-destructive and outwardly destructive. If we do not accept emotion, we do not accept the mind and body and what we call "the soul", all getting together.

We are free to feel. All of us, Person, and Spirit, no matter what age, race, religion, or nationality or place. --- if we remove feeling, we are removing us, when we remove us, we cannot be us.

But for us to also feel guilt due to not "being enough", doing enough", "trying hard enough", having enough, especially if in a rut, mentally, economically, support - wise, all are parts of this thing that we call life, and they are things which cannot be ignored, denied, or shut out, these are facts.

I learned through time that people who live right by you, or even under your own roof, can ignore you with the most cold and distant soul, and heart, mind and mannerisms and actions. Some people from half a planet away can treat you as a friend and listen closer than the people you live with.

- in closing -

keep it light. and keep moving.

you have every reason to cry if you are sad from someone cheating on you, you have every right to be upset at the crime you might be a victim to at the time and place you are, you have every right to be frustrated with things you have no control over.

you also have a right to be happy, and safe, free, and able to transcend from where you were or are, to where you want to be. every single person has.

let no battle be un - glorified. if you can only write one poem a day, due to your depression and sadness or ptsd, do it, no one else walked in your shoes, boots, or pants, thank you for being here.

as a person with what i have, and the damage i have....

all i can say right now is

life is war - if you're breathing, you're winning,. march on.

-om-