55mph notes (text version) /
55mph notes
OR: A Primer or Daybook of a Mess -
OR: Why Don't I read this Book:
BY OLIVER C. MATTSON
COPYRIGHT 2009
aka
Alexander Maxim
(legend: --- page break)
Shattered Dreams can occur at the most random of moments, Habits tend to make these random moments occur at the most peculiar of times.
---
Always if possible, recruit a co pilot, or wing-person that has your best wishes in mind.
---
The person that you meet on the Internet may not be the same person you meet in real life.
---
Try hard to eat some food and be well rested and happy before going to a party, or out to bars. Jealousy can rear its ugly head at any moment when one isn't in the right head-space.
---
If you feel that you need to do something differently, in order to make your life better, find it yourself and go their with the direction that you put into it yourself, sometimes one needs to make one's own compass.
---
Read, Write, draw, sing, compose, perform, move, dance, Daydream. Do something that makes you feel at peace with the earth and life and most of all, Yourself.
---
If people are hurting you, and you feel that you are being brought down by the whole world, remember, the next breath you take is a possible moment for YOURSELF, and that, even if you have to hide inside a fantasy world for just a few minutes, those are YOUR MINUTES, and no one at all can take them from you.
---
Watch a cartoon from when you were a kid. Try to remember when the cartoons were over on Saturday Morning, and you had no other worries, and you were either going out to play, or just sit a round and goof off. Write a note to yourself about it.
---
Find places on the internet and in books, literature , film, that recapture the Awseomeness and Coolness of an old hobby, a favorite toy or game, and just simply enjoy it, at least minutes a week.
---
Watch Pinnochio from Disney. Jiminy Cricket's got a lot more upstairs now, as i look at it, after all the dumb stuff I've done. Sometimes, he seems like he's talking right at me.
---
Like Art? Make a picture. Like to write? Start writing. I held back on writing and my music, and my artwork, and all those nights i spent on the barstools and all the beatings and hangovers I took, I could have had a shelf or ten full of books written by now. The day, this one. Is Yours.
---
Make your own magic. Don't fit on with others, can't find a coven to belong to?? Whatever you're into, If you're in a bit of a spot, try to center yourself and maybe make your own magic symbols and non harmful rituals to get over the "rut", life, like any game of cards, can deal strange, and from time to time terrible cards.
---
It's all soup.
Mix and match things, in the privacy of your own head. If you dream of Abe Lincoln and E.A. Poe riding on a starship with Mark Twain en route to a billiards tournament in the shadows of the dark side of Saturn, so be it. What kind of ship would it be? (This is my idea, i used it as an example). All things in life come and go, move around just like the stars in the sky. We see different ones every night. Some fall away. Enjoy them when you can.
---
If you don't really want to go to a show that your friends want you to go to, becasue you're scared something bad might happen, or your friends say that you shouldn't go to, DON'T GO TO THAT SHOW. Gut instincts and first reactions are our body and the universe's way of telling us, WAIT UP.
---
Some of us didn't make it. Please be careful.
---
Don't jump to and from things too quickly, unless you know to handle the rhythm, and know your own pace.
---
DON'T Try being soemthing you're not. I tried dealing drugs, tried being "smooth with the ladies", I tried being something I wasn't. What did I get? Nearly Dead. Brain Damage, physical disability. DON'T TRY BEING SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT, but also, try not to plasticize oneself and get yourself pinned as something like: Punk Rocker, Metal Head, Stoner, Drunk, Loser, dink, etc. etc.
---
Don't fit in. Just relax.
---
Elevate your consciousness. Read something that makes you feel better about yourself and makes you want to do more with your life. Whther it be written by the Dahli Lhama, or it be Grover's Own Alphabet.
---
Don't Lie. Unless you know what the hell you're doing and or you're using it a survival tactic, if it keeps you alive and breathing, LIE AWAY.
---
Don't break older relatives things. You'll get less when they pass away.
---
Blackouts Suck.
---
Study words that make sense TO YOU. NOT what's "hot", or whatever.
---
FEEL. If you can't feel. Think. If you can't think... Learn that you can't, or that you're not thinking correctly.
---
The future is about self and outer awareness, In my opinion. But then again, my thoughts haven't been all that right, as of late. Pardon me.
---
Nothing is as it seems, sometimes. Then again, other times, things can be brutally real.
---
Do you enjoy Holidays? If not why?
---
Get a support team. For whatever it is that you're into. If youmake artwork, have people look at and critique and talk about it. Have A reading of some of your writngs or a listening exam get together if you do spoken word or if you're a musician. Keeping creative juices flowing is from time to time, not only necessary, it can be the difference between life and death.
---
DON'T OVERDO ANYTHING. Change it up. If you get stuck on a homework problem or in writers block up to your neck, save your work, burn it off, save it on your thumbdrive, do whatever. Take a break. Watch a film, play a video or board game, watch something you really enjoy. Or try something completely different. If you're on a bender, watch your self. Sleep, Eat Food, Drink Water, Coffee, etc. If the reason why you're on said bender is a depression or loneliness issue, do something to change that. Hop in a chat-room, watch a live stream of something. Bitch about the news of the day in a blog or in a spiral notebook. Pen and Paper are truly the best laptop sometimes.
---
If you don't have someone to talk to in the middle of the night with if you're really depressed ad sad and every thing is icky icky bad, dig up or get a children's book that you enjoyed when you were little. I never knew how much a nursery rhyme meant to me until I was real, real down.
---
entry 30. WOOHOO.
---
CREATE. EVEN if it takes you what seems like a long long time, but don't wait too long. KNOW full well that books are made of chapters, chapters are made of paragraphs, paragraphs are made of words, words are made of letters. One at a time. Baby Steps.
---
Sometimes it's hard to take advice. Even from one's own self.
---
Read Alice In Wonderland.
---
Feel the rhythm of old poetry and prose, from before the year Two Thousand. Feel the way the the ends of the sentences go in front of one another, like they were on a walk, or a jog. Run through the letters. Feel the words. Listen inside.
---
Write about anything, even if no one else is reading at all. Get it out. The words eat brains like feelings eat souls. Keep the heart light, keep the mind free yet determined. Stay Hungry.
---
Know what you CAN DO, exploit yourself and your skill set, not your Antics.
---
When you're down, don't go out trying to get better. Get better first, THEN GO OUT.
---
IF You're tired, take a nap, if you're hungry eat food, If you're thirsty, drink some water. If you're antsy, exercise. If you're horny, masturbate. (not in public)
---
Have one's head about one's shoulders. You may not have a head if you do not.
---
Read Washington Irving.
---
Even if it's played out, in your circle, or you've just read it a few minutes ago, take time to enjoy The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, especially if it was a gray gray day and at about midnight you're bothered by a certain bird.
---
Watch a sporting event. Have no favoritism in the teams, just watch to see the process of the game ITSELF, and use that as meditation. It's hard not to do other things, for me, though, when watching football, but it makes for great background noise as I type my butt off.
---
TRY Learning CHESS. I dare you. Looks like moonspeak to me.
---
I'M GOING FORWARD. Ruts in road, rainy mud and snow behind me. Sleet, sludge mucky yuck car wrecks, closed stores and lost cash. Brain damage. GOING FORWARD. Good grades bad friends lying cheating bad trends. Plasticide victim, but I'm still alive. GOING FORWARD.
---
LIKE FIRE. Be a flaming arrow aiming at the bull's eye of your own absolute core goals. All genres and lines of classification are meaningless now. Nothing can be truly categorized, unless it's simply databased. At that point it's been processed so that a machine can deal with it. A machine. Know that everything in life, good, bad, happy, sad, are parts of your life. And your life is part of the Universe. And your life, like the Universe, with dark and light, fire and ice,
IS VALID.
---
PLAY PINBALL- EVEN IF IT'S ON YOUR iPhone.
---
If you're feeling well enough, take a rain walk. Or listen to an audio track of rain, and say you took a rain walk.
---
Smoke Marijuana, have the munchies. Enjoy a Cheech and Chong album and laugh like you were ten.
---
Skinnydip. Even if it's by yourself. Even in your own tub at home or in a hotel room. Light some candles... SCRATCH THAT I suck with FIRE. Light some safe, Environmetally friendly light device that provides you with a sense of self indulgence and or joy. If you don't want to, or your house has no hot water, or you're just not in the mood, go back 2 pages re: "rain walks".
---
If your spouse is cheating on you, and you're not leaving them, no matter how much of a lie you're living and how obvious it is, USE COMMON SENSE. USE A CONDOM. Just like the T-shirt Says, "You may think she's your gal, but she could be anybody's pal". If I got it wrong, oopsie, oh well.
---
Sunday afternoons used to be about watching old grainy monster movies and Horror flicks on local channels off the rabbit ears. What Happened?
---
If you're in a socio-economically isolated area and you don't fit in, and you're in your thirties.... FUCKING MOVE ALREADY.
---
Never mess with the dead.
---
Dress like your favorite Author, or musician, or whoever, in secret, alone. Even if it's a pair of Raul Duke style sunglasses that make you feel like you're on your way to Vegas.
---
EAT FOOD, DRINK WATER, REST AND EXERCISE.
---
Love the self, to heck with the rest, If you're surviving, you've passed the test.
---
What I said before about watching a sporting event. Let me say this: The amount of commercials, freaking beer ads and un-necessary commentary in this thing are starting to really chap my hide.
---
I'd love to have random art galleries pop up and music places pop up and places to show my writing pop up and do some stand up or spoken word or something.
---
Feel.
---
Listen.
---
Relax
---
Love. If you can't love, even if you can't love yourself, Get MAD, but get mad enough to do something with that energy. Don't just pitch it into the night air and hope for the best. Nightmares happen that way. Hideous crime and death can occur at those moments when we have no control.
---
Be at peace within the self and the boundaries of the self. If there's fences, they're there for reasons. Freedom Witin Boundaries. The concept of "freedom within bounds", is common in some application(s) of technology, science fiction, and artificial intelligence as well as database management.
---
Remember a commercial you liked, as well as one that made you say to yourself "WHAT were they Thinking????"
---
GET OUT OF DODGE. Mini-Escapism Works.
---
Attract the right attraction. Be careful. Play not games that one does not understand. Wants may be similar to those of others, but only each person can find what they are "looking for". If one does not know what one is looking for, one should look inside, first.
---
(my version of) The work world causes one to feel the pressures of Money, first, of operation and process and method next, and self fulfillment last. If your job does more than that for you, feel blessed.
---
stress can take one down, but it can also be turned into a reverse enery and soemthing we can work with, like using an opponents strength and energy to their disadvantage in martial arts. Pick up techniques to help you in your future jobs and or projects at the place that you're at now. Strategize. Don't do anything that you might regret, BUT LEARN.
---
Mind Expanding Chemicals can not only expand the brain, but also destroy the mind, deteriorate the soul and make life's dreams go to the wayside like a blast from a lazerbeam shooting through the core of the heart as big as the sun. The self becomes more than one thing from time to time. Not only can the self be the embodiment of mind, body and soul, but the self can also be a reactive beast barking at strange noises in the lonely house called reality.
---
Count to ten.
---
Be Careful, please.
---
Best Wishes. May your dreams come true. May you be calm, may you have no worry, no regret, and no shame. May your endeavors be fruitful and your hopes bright, may your travels be good. May the challenges of life be those that you can deal with and may your mind wish to learn more so that you can deal with them better. May the winds of success soar you to new Heights, and may the weight of defeat not drag you below the surface so low that you cannot bring the anchor up. Let those dark times be temporary, learn that there are those in life that wish you harm, and also, that there is truly love. In many forms is love. Appreciation takes different shapes. Look not a gift horse in it's mouth, Dark forests are hard to get through, but the pastures are so much greener on the other side. The trick is not going in them to begin with.. Return not to the fields of regret.
---
SHINE.
---
end one-
Oliver C. Mattson
OR: A Primer or Daybook of a Mess -
OR: Why Don't I read this Book:
BY OLIVER C. MATTSON
COPYRIGHT 2009
aka
Alexander Maxim
(legend: --- page break)
Shattered Dreams can occur at the most random of moments, Habits tend to make these random moments occur at the most peculiar of times.
---
Always if possible, recruit a co pilot, or wing-person that has your best wishes in mind.
---
The person that you meet on the Internet may not be the same person you meet in real life.
---
Try hard to eat some food and be well rested and happy before going to a party, or out to bars. Jealousy can rear its ugly head at any moment when one isn't in the right head-space.
---
If you feel that you need to do something differently, in order to make your life better, find it yourself and go their with the direction that you put into it yourself, sometimes one needs to make one's own compass.
---
Read, Write, draw, sing, compose, perform, move, dance, Daydream. Do something that makes you feel at peace with the earth and life and most of all, Yourself.
---
If people are hurting you, and you feel that you are being brought down by the whole world, remember, the next breath you take is a possible moment for YOURSELF, and that, even if you have to hide inside a fantasy world for just a few minutes, those are YOUR MINUTES, and no one at all can take them from you.
---
Watch a cartoon from when you were a kid. Try to remember when the cartoons were over on Saturday Morning, and you had no other worries, and you were either going out to play, or just sit a round and goof off. Write a note to yourself about it.
---
Find places on the internet and in books, literature , film, that recapture the Awseomeness and Coolness of an old hobby, a favorite toy or game, and just simply enjoy it, at least minutes a week.
---
Watch Pinnochio from Disney. Jiminy Cricket's got a lot more upstairs now, as i look at it, after all the dumb stuff I've done. Sometimes, he seems like he's talking right at me.
---
Like Art? Make a picture. Like to write? Start writing. I held back on writing and my music, and my artwork, and all those nights i spent on the barstools and all the beatings and hangovers I took, I could have had a shelf or ten full of books written by now. The day, this one. Is Yours.
---
Make your own magic. Don't fit on with others, can't find a coven to belong to?? Whatever you're into, If you're in a bit of a spot, try to center yourself and maybe make your own magic symbols and non harmful rituals to get over the "rut", life, like any game of cards, can deal strange, and from time to time terrible cards.
---
It's all soup.
Mix and match things, in the privacy of your own head. If you dream of Abe Lincoln and E.A. Poe riding on a starship with Mark Twain en route to a billiards tournament in the shadows of the dark side of Saturn, so be it. What kind of ship would it be? (This is my idea, i used it as an example). All things in life come and go, move around just like the stars in the sky. We see different ones every night. Some fall away. Enjoy them when you can.
---
If you don't really want to go to a show that your friends want you to go to, becasue you're scared something bad might happen, or your friends say that you shouldn't go to, DON'T GO TO THAT SHOW. Gut instincts and first reactions are our body and the universe's way of telling us, WAIT UP.
---
Some of us didn't make it. Please be careful.
---
Don't jump to and from things too quickly, unless you know to handle the rhythm, and know your own pace.
---
DON'T Try being soemthing you're not. I tried dealing drugs, tried being "smooth with the ladies", I tried being something I wasn't. What did I get? Nearly Dead. Brain Damage, physical disability. DON'T TRY BEING SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT, but also, try not to plasticize oneself and get yourself pinned as something like: Punk Rocker, Metal Head, Stoner, Drunk, Loser, dink, etc. etc.
---
Don't fit in. Just relax.
---
Elevate your consciousness. Read something that makes you feel better about yourself and makes you want to do more with your life. Whther it be written by the Dahli Lhama, or it be Grover's Own Alphabet.
---
Don't Lie. Unless you know what the hell you're doing and or you're using it a survival tactic, if it keeps you alive and breathing, LIE AWAY.
---
Don't break older relatives things. You'll get less when they pass away.
---
Blackouts Suck.
---
Study words that make sense TO YOU. NOT what's "hot", or whatever.
---
FEEL. If you can't feel. Think. If you can't think... Learn that you can't, or that you're not thinking correctly.
---
The future is about self and outer awareness, In my opinion. But then again, my thoughts haven't been all that right, as of late. Pardon me.
---
Nothing is as it seems, sometimes. Then again, other times, things can be brutally real.
---
Do you enjoy Holidays? If not why?
---
Get a support team. For whatever it is that you're into. If youmake artwork, have people look at and critique and talk about it. Have A reading of some of your writngs or a listening exam get together if you do spoken word or if you're a musician. Keeping creative juices flowing is from time to time, not only necessary, it can be the difference between life and death.
---
DON'T OVERDO ANYTHING. Change it up. If you get stuck on a homework problem or in writers block up to your neck, save your work, burn it off, save it on your thumbdrive, do whatever. Take a break. Watch a film, play a video or board game, watch something you really enjoy. Or try something completely different. If you're on a bender, watch your self. Sleep, Eat Food, Drink Water, Coffee, etc. If the reason why you're on said bender is a depression or loneliness issue, do something to change that. Hop in a chat-room, watch a live stream of something. Bitch about the news of the day in a blog or in a spiral notebook. Pen and Paper are truly the best laptop sometimes.
---
If you don't have someone to talk to in the middle of the night with if you're really depressed ad sad and every thing is icky icky bad, dig up or get a children's book that you enjoyed when you were little. I never knew how much a nursery rhyme meant to me until I was real, real down.
---
entry 30. WOOHOO.
---
CREATE. EVEN if it takes you what seems like a long long time, but don't wait too long. KNOW full well that books are made of chapters, chapters are made of paragraphs, paragraphs are made of words, words are made of letters. One at a time. Baby Steps.
---
Sometimes it's hard to take advice. Even from one's own self.
---
Read Alice In Wonderland.
---
Feel the rhythm of old poetry and prose, from before the year Two Thousand. Feel the way the the ends of the sentences go in front of one another, like they were on a walk, or a jog. Run through the letters. Feel the words. Listen inside.
---
Write about anything, even if no one else is reading at all. Get it out. The words eat brains like feelings eat souls. Keep the heart light, keep the mind free yet determined. Stay Hungry.
---
Know what you CAN DO, exploit yourself and your skill set, not your Antics.
---
When you're down, don't go out trying to get better. Get better first, THEN GO OUT.
---
IF You're tired, take a nap, if you're hungry eat food, If you're thirsty, drink some water. If you're antsy, exercise. If you're horny, masturbate. (not in public)
---
Have one's head about one's shoulders. You may not have a head if you do not.
---
Read Washington Irving.
---
Even if it's played out, in your circle, or you've just read it a few minutes ago, take time to enjoy The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, especially if it was a gray gray day and at about midnight you're bothered by a certain bird.
---
Watch a sporting event. Have no favoritism in the teams, just watch to see the process of the game ITSELF, and use that as meditation. It's hard not to do other things, for me, though, when watching football, but it makes for great background noise as I type my butt off.
---
TRY Learning CHESS. I dare you. Looks like moonspeak to me.
---
I'M GOING FORWARD. Ruts in road, rainy mud and snow behind me. Sleet, sludge mucky yuck car wrecks, closed stores and lost cash. Brain damage. GOING FORWARD. Good grades bad friends lying cheating bad trends. Plasticide victim, but I'm still alive. GOING FORWARD.
---
LIKE FIRE. Be a flaming arrow aiming at the bull's eye of your own absolute core goals. All genres and lines of classification are meaningless now. Nothing can be truly categorized, unless it's simply databased. At that point it's been processed so that a machine can deal with it. A machine. Know that everything in life, good, bad, happy, sad, are parts of your life. And your life is part of the Universe. And your life, like the Universe, with dark and light, fire and ice,
IS VALID.
---
PLAY PINBALL- EVEN IF IT'S ON YOUR iPhone.
---
If you're feeling well enough, take a rain walk. Or listen to an audio track of rain, and say you took a rain walk.
---
Smoke Marijuana, have the munchies. Enjoy a Cheech and Chong album and laugh like you were ten.
---
Skinnydip. Even if it's by yourself. Even in your own tub at home or in a hotel room. Light some candles... SCRATCH THAT I suck with FIRE. Light some safe, Environmetally friendly light device that provides you with a sense of self indulgence and or joy. If you don't want to, or your house has no hot water, or you're just not in the mood, go back 2 pages re: "rain walks".
---
If your spouse is cheating on you, and you're not leaving them, no matter how much of a lie you're living and how obvious it is, USE COMMON SENSE. USE A CONDOM. Just like the T-shirt Says, "You may think she's your gal, but she could be anybody's pal". If I got it wrong, oopsie, oh well.
---
Sunday afternoons used to be about watching old grainy monster movies and Horror flicks on local channels off the rabbit ears. What Happened?
---
If you're in a socio-economically isolated area and you don't fit in, and you're in your thirties.... FUCKING MOVE ALREADY.
---
Never mess with the dead.
---
Dress like your favorite Author, or musician, or whoever, in secret, alone. Even if it's a pair of Raul Duke style sunglasses that make you feel like you're on your way to Vegas.
---
EAT FOOD, DRINK WATER, REST AND EXERCISE.
---
Love the self, to heck with the rest, If you're surviving, you've passed the test.
---
What I said before about watching a sporting event. Let me say this: The amount of commercials, freaking beer ads and un-necessary commentary in this thing are starting to really chap my hide.
---
I'd love to have random art galleries pop up and music places pop up and places to show my writing pop up and do some stand up or spoken word or something.
---
Feel.
---
Listen.
---
Relax
---
Love. If you can't love, even if you can't love yourself, Get MAD, but get mad enough to do something with that energy. Don't just pitch it into the night air and hope for the best. Nightmares happen that way. Hideous crime and death can occur at those moments when we have no control.
---
Be at peace within the self and the boundaries of the self. If there's fences, they're there for reasons. Freedom Witin Boundaries. The concept of "freedom within bounds", is common in some application(s) of technology, science fiction, and artificial intelligence as well as database management.
---
Remember a commercial you liked, as well as one that made you say to yourself "WHAT were they Thinking????"
---
GET OUT OF DODGE. Mini-Escapism Works.
---
Attract the right attraction. Be careful. Play not games that one does not understand. Wants may be similar to those of others, but only each person can find what they are "looking for". If one does not know what one is looking for, one should look inside, first.
---
(my version of) The work world causes one to feel the pressures of Money, first, of operation and process and method next, and self fulfillment last. If your job does more than that for you, feel blessed.
---
stress can take one down, but it can also be turned into a reverse enery and soemthing we can work with, like using an opponents strength and energy to their disadvantage in martial arts. Pick up techniques to help you in your future jobs and or projects at the place that you're at now. Strategize. Don't do anything that you might regret, BUT LEARN.
---
Mind Expanding Chemicals can not only expand the brain, but also destroy the mind, deteriorate the soul and make life's dreams go to the wayside like a blast from a lazerbeam shooting through the core of the heart as big as the sun. The self becomes more than one thing from time to time. Not only can the self be the embodiment of mind, body and soul, but the self can also be a reactive beast barking at strange noises in the lonely house called reality.
---
Count to ten.
---
Be Careful, please.
---
Best Wishes. May your dreams come true. May you be calm, may you have no worry, no regret, and no shame. May your endeavors be fruitful and your hopes bright, may your travels be good. May the challenges of life be those that you can deal with and may your mind wish to learn more so that you can deal with them better. May the winds of success soar you to new Heights, and may the weight of defeat not drag you below the surface so low that you cannot bring the anchor up. Let those dark times be temporary, learn that there are those in life that wish you harm, and also, that there is truly love. In many forms is love. Appreciation takes different shapes. Look not a gift horse in it's mouth, Dark forests are hard to get through, but the pastures are so much greener on the other side. The trick is not going in them to begin with.. Return not to the fields of regret.
---
SHINE.
---
end one-
Oliver C. Mattson
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